Erase the irrational thinking

Breakthrough
483px-erase_stub

No doubt this post will be rather controversial, and if it gets very few likes, so be it.

In my experience, the so-called rational mind can get us tangled into a convoluted mess of he-said, she-said, and difficult-to-verify understandings. It seems that the more we try to think our way out, the greater the problems become. All politics aside, one candidate has a little mantra that does seem rather rational: “If you make it a practice to always be honest, you don’t have to remember as much.” My next thought went to wondering what the corollary statement would be–something like the more you add to the story, the less truth can be identified. (I’m sure there are a gazillion other possible versions!)

My first exposure to the field of psychology was in high school. The more I heard in this elective class, the more I was appalled to think that the reasons I was who I was–or thought the way I did–were no different from the ways a dog was conditioned to think. It scared the crap out of me! My conclusion was that I could trust myself no more than I could trust the people who tried to teach me. The idea that there might be no moral or ethical compass that could be trusted felt like the ultimate darkness.

Have the fields of psychology and sociology served us well? It seems to me that in the end, all of our doubt, hypotheses, testing, and theory-making tend to validate the original idea that love is the human activity that prevails above all. If we could ever figure this out, the learning, the information, the governments, the protections might become a moot point.

Perhaps the best way to affect a breakthrough to a world beyond the “isms” is to simply stop thinking about them. Stop talking about them. Erase them. Get busy and work to take care of ourselves and each other.  That sounds a lot like forgiveness.

(I’m going to go clean out my closet now.)

Mira

 

Loving patiently while they learn…

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Waiting patiently in silence for the returning spring of life-giving love…

Judging vs. discerning; rejecting the person vs. employing wisdom for daily-living

There seems to be a common theme here in the blog-o-sphere, around which humanity has obstacles of communication for developing a unifying understanding. And yet, perhaps we are growing closer.

I found article on the website TheOverwhelmedBrain.com that beautifully illustrates how a form of judgment can destroy relationships. (Click or tap the link above for access to the article. The website itself is linked here, inside the “Daily Balance” of my Starfish Mission.)

A teacher with whom I once worked seemed to have struck this beautiful balance. She often remarked that her mother, also a teacher, had repeatedly instructed her to “remember to always be kind”. Continue reading “Loving patiently while they learn…”

Judgment ≠ Discernment

Hike

 

scoldingpenguin
Take a hike, chump! You’re not worth my time!!! (judgement or discernment?)

Judgment vs. Discernment (Psychology Today)

Wait–don’t we need to make good decisions?

Sometimes my forays into cautionary tales about being judgmental are met with vehement cries of derision–especially when one’s work hinges upon the ability to make informed and wise decisions. As a teacher, I remember frequent reminders that teachers make upwards of 1,500 critical decisions each day affecting students, parents, schools, communities—well, you get the picture. Teachers are hardly alone in their circles of influence.

My new growth mindset of possibility:

I have come to the place where my most solid assurance is that there is no end: that the conversations go on between all the souls who love each other, living and dead. I have no certifiable proof of this–only that this understanding gives me peace and allows me to maintain open conversations with basically anyone. From a mindset of no end,  nothing seems catastrophic anymore; we just continue learning how to love better. That also allows me to allow others’ their own interpretations of end vs. no end. And yet, when I see others in pain, knowing that there can be life here on the terra firma without emotional pain, I suppose that I cannot, in good conscience, stop myself from putting these thoughts out there.  (Most solid assurance, after all, is not without doubt.)

Each person comes to their working core truth in their own way and at their own time. When you get to that place, I don’t think that you never want to leave that solid foundation. You just build from there. I would love to know what you think: have you reached a meaning-of-life that works for you? If so, how has it affected your interpretation of judgement?  

Decisions, words-meanings, and relationships

So, the building: we humans have our gargantuan task of working out the fabric of meanings that fashion our relationships. Our life-raft relationships that we build despite the raging oceans of our many languages, cultures, contexts, values–all of it, might be secured or destroyed upon the interpretation of a single word: judgement. To me, judgement can mean allowing a relationship or dismissing it.

In my opinion, our interpretation and application of the difference between judgment and discernment is worth mindful consideration.

Value of souls vs. value of physical matters

Claim: Judgment addresses the value of a person. If we can accept that we are all differently-gifted for our own unique life’s purpose, every individual would have equal value. We each contribute to the whole in our own way. I see it as the value of one’s soul and worthiness to take up space, to be heard, and to be loved.

Claim: Discernment, according to conventional interpretation, is based upon what can be observed: objective matters. (Granted, there is also a  Biblical application of the word discernment, which may or may not integrate well. This would probably also make for a good discussion!)  I discovered an article published a few years ago (2011) in Psychology Today. It was written by Dr. Raj Raghunathan, who explains it much more eloquently than I. Here it is again:

Judgment vs. Discernment (Psychology Today)

What do you think? What determines the difference between judgment and discernment for you?  How does that kind of distinction play out in your daily living?

Love, ❤ ❤ ❤

Mira

 

Slogging all the way to my wall.

Slog

 brick_wall_close-up_view
Interesting. Only a few readers responded when I opened the door to share instances of witnessing or experiencing bullying. (My heartfelt thanks for those of you who did.) Sadly, I suspect that a few things may be true, because they are most certainly true for me:

Continue reading “Slogging all the way to my wall.”

Bullies: just longing for Boeles?

elephantfamily
Bulls? Bullies? Boeles? Or the elephants in the room?

Apparently my bully-ish thought-stream decided that a raging waterfall would be more appropo tonight. So, here goes…

Earlier today, I discovered that bully was, originally, a 16th Century term of endearment for a friend or lover (spelled boele). You’ll have to hang with me here to follow my spaghetti-brain logic. Continue reading “Bullies: just longing for Boeles?”

Your Turn: Bullied? Manipulated? Hurting? Healing? Please share.

Zing!

Please, please…zing us!

FindingBreathless has been paddling as fast the little duck feet could muster, heading toward a lily pad. (Truthfully, that lily pad has been covering up a soapbox podium, but you knew that, right?) Today, we’re climbing onto a lily pad and turning off our own microphones.  Today is your turn to be heard. Continue reading “Your Turn: Bullied? Manipulated? Hurting? Healing? Please share.”

Stop Bullying at Zero

wikibully

My risk. Your gain.

I am probably taking a big risk with this post, but I am just going to say it. Parents have the power to eliminate bullying. Furthermore, it must be accomplished before children even set foot in a school.

Studies dance around the issue, because empirical scientific methods are geared for testing a limited sample and a single variable at a time. It will always be a limited sample, even if it is a meta-analysis. Researchers must always leave the door open for further studies to be conducted. That is the scientific method, and science will continue to gather evidence interminably.

Not everyone is going to agree, but, on this, I’m taking a stand.

Continue reading “Stop Bullying at Zero”

Meditations for Young Children

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(From my page Meditation for Children on Starfish Mission)

We already know that the parent-child bond can be locked into place by age 1, but as little ones start to pull away and exercise independence, I have wondered whether there might be a way to begin to teach children at a very early age how to begin to take over the task of calming themselves. Continue reading “Meditations for Young Children”

Assertiveness: Authentic-Self + 3

Recharge

pianomozart

Finding it hard to recharge?

People who end up making life-choices based on someone else’s ideals and values tend to burn out and become depressed much faster than those who follow their heart. We come into this world fully equipped for our purpose, and if we are allowed to follow that purpose–leading from our natural source of energy within us–we have a perpetual-motion machine that can feel like heaven on Earth. Although sleep is still required! If we are constantly trying to live up to others’ expectations, we smash together our frustrations, anxiety, and anger inside until it becomes a giant, knotty problem–and exceedingly difficult to unravel. (My Starfish Mission page explains.)

Do you have a story to share?

Continue reading “Assertiveness: Authentic-Self + 3”

Assertiveness: Parents + 2

pajamas

Armor of assertiveness

Very few of us escape our young childhood years without at least a few effects of misguided parenting here and there. And even if we had the greatest parents who made sure we felt love and supplied everything we needed, there may have been another whole realm of skills–assertiveness–that was overlooked. If you find yourself wishing that your assertiveness skills were a little beefier, this is for you. Lack of assertiveness is a chief cause of the bully/bullied syndrome. (If we are the products of parents who were quite off track–somewhere on the spectrum between the abusers and helicopters–we will also benefit by doing some work over in the Starfish Mission area. We need to heal our damaged souls to avoid passing on the hurt.) Continue reading “Assertiveness: Parents + 2”