Erase the irrational thinking

Breakthrough
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No doubt this post will be rather controversial, and if it gets very few likes, so be it.

In my experience, the so-called rational mind can get us tangled into a convoluted mess of he-said, she-said, and difficult-to-verify understandings. It seems that the more we try to think our way out, the greater the problems become. All politics aside, one candidate has a little mantra that does seem rather rational: “If you make it a practice to always be honest, you don’t have to remember as much.” My next thought went to wondering what the corollary statement would be–something like the more you add to the story, the less truth can be identified. (I’m sure there are a gazillion other possible versions!)

My first exposure to the field of psychology was in high school. The more I heard in this elective class, the more I was appalled to think that the reasons I was who I was–or thought the way I did–were no different from the ways a dog was conditioned to think. It scared the crap out of me! My conclusion was that I could trust myself no more than I could trust the people who tried to teach me. The idea that there might be no moral or ethical compass that could be trusted felt like the ultimate darkness.

Have the fields of psychology and sociology served us well? It seems to me that in the end, all of our doubt, hypotheses, testing, and theory-making tend to validate the original idea that love is the human activity that prevails above all. If we could ever figure this out, the learning, the information, the governments, the protections might become a moot point.

Perhaps the best way to affect a breakthrough to a world beyond the “isms” is to simply stop thinking about them. Stop talking about them. Erase them. Get busy and work to take care of ourselves and each other.  That sounds a lot like forgiveness.

(I’m going to go clean out my closet now.)

Mira

 

Loving patiently while they learn…

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Waiting patiently in silence for the returning spring of life-giving love…

Judging vs. discerning; rejecting the person vs. employing wisdom for daily-living

There seems to be a common theme here in the blog-o-sphere, around which humanity has obstacles of communication for developing a unifying understanding. And yet, perhaps we are growing closer.

I found article on the website TheOverwhelmedBrain.com that beautifully illustrates how a form of judgment can destroy relationships. (Click or tap the link above for access to the article. The website itself is linked here, inside the “Daily Balance” of my Starfish Mission.)

A teacher with whom I once worked seemed to have struck this beautiful balance. She often remarked that her mother, also a teacher, had repeatedly instructed her to “remember to always be kind”. Continue reading “Loving patiently while they learn…”

Bullies: just longing for Boeles?

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Bulls? Bullies? Boeles? Or the elephants in the room?

Apparently my bully-ish thought-stream decided that a raging waterfall would be more appropo tonight. So, here goes…

Earlier today, I discovered that bully was, originally, a 16th Century term of endearment for a friend or lover (spelled boele). You’ll have to hang with me here to follow my spaghetti-brain logic. Continue reading “Bullies: just longing for Boeles?”

Your Turn: Bullied? Manipulated? Hurting? Healing? Please share.

Zing!

Please, please…zing us!

FindingBreathless has been paddling as fast the little duck feet could muster, heading toward a lily pad. (Truthfully, that lily pad has been covering up a soapbox podium, but you knew that, right?) Today, we’re climbing onto a lily pad and turning off our own microphones.  Today is your turn to be heard. Continue reading “Your Turn: Bullied? Manipulated? Hurting? Healing? Please share.”

Stop Bullying at Zero

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My risk. Your gain.

I am probably taking a big risk with this post, but I am just going to say it. Parents have the power to eliminate bullying. Furthermore, it must be accomplished before children even set foot in a school.

Studies dance around the issue, because empirical scientific methods are geared for testing a limited sample and a single variable at a time. It will always be a limited sample, even if it is a meta-analysis. Researchers must always leave the door open for further studies to be conducted. That is the scientific method, and science will continue to gather evidence interminably.

Not everyone is going to agree, but, on this, I’m taking a stand.

Continue reading “Stop Bullying at Zero”

Meditations for Young Children

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(From my page Meditation for Children on Starfish Mission)

We already know that the parent-child bond can be locked into place by age 1, but as little ones start to pull away and exercise independence, I have wondered whether there might be a way to begin to teach children at a very early age how to begin to take over the task of calming themselves. Continue reading “Meditations for Young Children”

Assertiveness: Authentic-Self + 3

Recharge

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Finding it hard to recharge?

People who end up making life-choices based on someone else’s ideals and values tend to burn out and become depressed much faster than those who follow their heart. We come into this world fully equipped for our purpose, and if we are allowed to follow that purpose–leading from our natural source of energy within us–we have a perpetual-motion machine that can feel like heaven on Earth. Although sleep is still required! If we are constantly trying to live up to others’ expectations, we smash together our frustrations, anxiety, and anger inside until it becomes a giant, knotty problem–and exceedingly difficult to unravel. (My Starfish Mission page explains.)

Do you have a story to share?

Continue reading “Assertiveness: Authentic-Self + 3”

Seeing stars. Walking on water.

Twinkle

Connect with MiraLianna HERE.
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Starfish Mission is beginning to twinkle…

The past few months have been a marathon of deep diving. I been resurfacing time after time, each dive reaping more treasure. This morning, my words to my husband were something like, “I think I know how to stay on the surface now. And when I go under, I know that I’ll be able to resurface and breathe again.”

In that moment, I caught a glimpse of what Jesus was probably trying to say: “Take my hand. I’ll show you how to walk on this calm, refreshing surface so you can show others how to do it. This is my amazing Kingdom where all are equally valuable and equally commissioned. This is the leveling place where you can meet and decide your next direction. Here on the surface of my life-giving waters, I want you to be able to experience my power, my love, and the power you have with each other–drawing in–breathing in—all of the fullness of my Kingdom. Here, we continue the evolution of our Universe.”

I have been borrowing quite a few photos from Google’s free-to-use collection, but this photo is all mine. These are my waters for dancing today.

My own plunging, floundering, breathless, and black-hole story is now tucked into a sub-menu on my About MiraLianna page.

An amazing community of people and ideas has been coming together like headwaters–helping to create  Starfish Mission. On the Starfish Mission page (top of this page on a PC or bottom if you are on a mobile device), you can find ENTRY POINTS. A little like the children’s book series, Choose Your Own Adventure, can can choose your entry point depending where you are in the journey of life. Included is the life-raft of the Black Hole point, when nothing is working and you are gasping for air.

  • Entry point: Pre-Marriage
  • Entry Point: Wanting a Family
  • Engry Point: New Parents
  • Entry Point: Raising a Family
  • Entry Point: Black Hole (This is a designed as a first stop if, for any reason, you are feeling rudderless, uncertain, without purpose, neglected, abused, fearful, or unhappy.)

Today feels like yet another one of my myriad pivot points. (Apparently, I’m all about pointing today.)

Happy Birthday. Proud of you. Still..where is the love?

Yesterday, I wrote about my mother appearing in a dream on my birthday, two weeks after she died. That really happened.

This past week, I had a moment when I was consumed with a great shudder and a flood of tears. This defies all forms of logic and everything but the intention of my original journey. If you knew me personally, you would be shaking your head in amazement. You would know how intent I have been on a path of Show Me. This…whatever, whomever, is trying to get through to me is pure and unadulterated experience.

She loves me, after all

My shudder, my flood of tears: my mother seemed to be saying to me, “Yeah, we had a lot of crap to work through. It sucked, didn’t it? We had a mission, you and I, and now–look at you. 1500 hits, 530 views, 50 posts–all in one month. You have been featured on *Dr. Jonice Webb’s website, Facebook page, and Twitter feed.  You are doing your mission, you have found your purpose. You have always been a great daughter. I am still proud of you. And now, I’m not just signing ‘Love, Mom’–now I’m telling you…I have loved you–will love you–forever and forever.”

❤ ❤ ❤

Mira

*Dr. Webb’s book, Running on Empty, provided MY entry point. Through her work, I found a key to unlock my door and knock down my wall. I found what was missing, how many of us got into this mess, and what can help. I’m now linking arms with anyone who will. We have generations of hope ahead.

I can see clearly now…

Vice

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Matthew 13: 11-33

Pain. Somehow, it seems to take on a life of its own. What you thought was hurting there, is really hurting here. I am beginning to understand. Coming here–into this world filled with pain–has sometimes felt to me as though I’ve had amnesia. Like I should have known this before. Didn’t I? How did I forget? Relearning. All of the tedium. Ugh.

Physical pain is one thing. Emotional pain is quite another. A personal who can soothe emotional pain has a gift: the gift of true love. Love is not always easy to find. Love is borne on the backs of habits– born of pain, gathers droplets through compassion, spreads across calm waters where there is no judgement, and rises from the mist into the sunshine. Love does not hold vice on its calm surface. Vice sinks quickly and disappears into the depths. Only through pond inversion will vice get another chance to become love.

Occasionally, when meeting someone for the first time, I feel as though I’ve known them my entire life. I felt like that when I met my husband. It still feels like that, most days.  Do you know this feeling?  I have been having more of those moments recently. It’s not such a coincidence, really. Retirement provides opportunity.

Several days ago I wrote a post about feeling lucky to have been unlucky. I have also been doing an online book study with friends. We have been reading the book Self-Esteem by McKay and Fanning. Throughout the book so far (it takes some time to work through that thing!), there had been no reference to geography. But then–it was there–the name of a town. MY town. The town where we have spent the greatest share of our lives. Frantically, I began searching. Was there a connection? Yes, but not what I expected.

Dr. Matthew McKay, I discovered, has written a book that he never expected to write. He is a man of science and committed to adhering to sound research practices. McKay experienced the kind of pain a parent fears the most: his son, aged 23–full of promise and excited about his future, was murdered. McKay began a highly unusual quest to try to connect with his son on the other side. He found a way. What he learned–what I read last night in his book Seeking Jordan–consumed my dreams. This morning the mist cleared, and my life seems sane again. Mostly.

You would need to read the book–and even then you would need to be in a certain place in your life’s journey to allow it in. We are just as we suspected. We are in this together. We are all connected. Pain provides us opportunity to link arms (as one reader recently said to me–so succinctly) and to learn collectively. Through our pain, we learn love–better.

I am here with you to breathe through our pain, to connect, and to learn love better.

Love,

Mira

*I am not a licensed therapist and will never claim to be such. I have retired after working 20 years as full-time, elementary-classroom teacher. I’ve taught it all: reading, math, science, and the social studies. (That does NOT mean that I have learned it all!) What I have to offer (and what I have yet to fully understand. 😉  ) is a lifetime of experiences and a spaghetti-brain full of randomly-connected information. 🙂 Most importantly, I care.

 

 

 

The Day the Music Returned

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Parade and Piano

Pasadena, California. The 1963 Parade of Roses. We were staying with distant relatives in their Craftsman-style home, two blocks from Colorado Boulevard. The adults–old and older, had set up chairs in the middle of the night and were on the street hours before the parade started. That was the year I had sworn off dolls, dresses, anything girlish. Blech! All I’d wanted for Christmas was cowboy boots. I was wearing them.

I discovered magic in that house. An old upright piano was tucked into a dark corner. (All rooms seemed dark to me back then.) As the one child amid the old and older, they left me alone (as always).  Oh, but the piano. I plunked out the most beautiful melodies (I thought), never having had the chance to touch one before. After that, I could talk about nothing else–except my daily plea for a horse. A horse was a reasonable request. There was room in the barn and an abundant supply of hay and grain. A piano? Excessive. Continue reading “The Day the Music Returned”