Staying alive…

declaration-of-independence

Let Gary Debate. (Or, please excuse me, my flag is showing.)

We have a family anecdote that has always reminded us to ask, “Why?”

As the story goes, every Christmas, Aunt Dora would carefully divide her ham into two parts before slipping it into the oven. When her daughter was old enough to ask why, Aunt Dora didn’t really know—it was what her mother had always done. Aunt Dora finally asked her own mother. “Oh, that was the only way I could get it to fit into my roasting pot.”

The Johnson/Weld Libertarian ticket is unprecedented—a new pot. They are common sense, dignity, steady courage, and an adjective seldom heard in politics: compassion. Let’s lift the lid off that old two-party pot: if you are polled, choose Gary Johnson. You’ve not committed your vote. What you will have done is allowed America to hope for something that we had presumed extinct: leadership that we wouldn’t mind our children emulating.

If you are polled, please help us all. Cast your poll vote for Gary Johnson. Let him debate. Let us learn. And think. That will give us a REAL chance to decide. Perhaps our old two-party pot could serve us better in a museum.

And please excuse me, my flag is STILL showing. 😉

Mira

Loving patiently while they learn…

baretrees
Waiting patiently in silence for the returning spring of life-giving love…

Judging vs. discerning; rejecting the person vs. employing wisdom for daily-living

There seems to be a common theme here in the blog-o-sphere, around which humanity has obstacles of communication for developing a unifying understanding. And yet, perhaps we are growing closer.

I found article on the website TheOverwhelmedBrain.com that beautifully illustrates how a form of judgment can destroy relationships. (Click or tap the link above for access to the article. The website itself is linked here, inside the “Daily Balance” of my Starfish Mission.)

A teacher with whom I once worked seemed to have struck this beautiful balance. She often remarked that her mother, also a teacher, had repeatedly instructed her to “remember to always be kind”. Continue reading “Loving patiently while they learn…”

Judgment ≠ Discernment

Hike

 

scoldingpenguin
Take a hike, chump! You’re not worth my time!!! (judgement or discernment?)

Judgment vs. Discernment (Psychology Today)

Wait–don’t we need to make good decisions?

Sometimes my forays into cautionary tales about being judgmental are met with vehement cries of derision–especially when one’s work hinges upon the ability to make informed and wise decisions. As a teacher, I remember frequent reminders that teachers make upwards of 1,500 critical decisions each day affecting students, parents, schools, communities—well, you get the picture. Teachers are hardly alone in their circles of influence.

My new growth mindset of possibility:

I have come to the place where my most solid assurance is that there is no end: that the conversations go on between all the souls who love each other, living and dead. I have no certifiable proof of this–only that this understanding gives me peace and allows me to maintain open conversations with basically anyone. From a mindset of no end,  nothing seems catastrophic anymore; we just continue learning how to love better. That also allows me to allow others’ their own interpretations of end vs. no end. And yet, when I see others in pain, knowing that there can be life here on the terra firma without emotional pain, I suppose that I cannot, in good conscience, stop myself from putting these thoughts out there.  (Most solid assurance, after all, is not without doubt.)

Each person comes to their working core truth in their own way and at their own time. When you get to that place, I don’t think that you never want to leave that solid foundation. You just build from there. I would love to know what you think: have you reached a meaning-of-life that works for you? If so, how has it affected your interpretation of judgement?  

Decisions, words-meanings, and relationships

So, the building: we humans have our gargantuan task of working out the fabric of meanings that fashion our relationships. Our life-raft relationships that we build despite the raging oceans of our many languages, cultures, contexts, values–all of it, might be secured or destroyed upon the interpretation of a single word: judgement. To me, judgement can mean allowing a relationship or dismissing it.

In my opinion, our interpretation and application of the difference between judgment and discernment is worth mindful consideration.

Value of souls vs. value of physical matters

Claim: Judgment addresses the value of a person. If we can accept that we are all differently-gifted for our own unique life’s purpose, every individual would have equal value. We each contribute to the whole in our own way. I see it as the value of one’s soul and worthiness to take up space, to be heard, and to be loved.

Claim: Discernment, according to conventional interpretation, is based upon what can be observed: objective matters. (Granted, there is also a  Biblical application of the word discernment, which may or may not integrate well. This would probably also make for a good discussion!)  I discovered an article published a few years ago (2011) in Psychology Today. It was written by Dr. Raj Raghunathan, who explains it much more eloquently than I. Here it is again:

Judgment vs. Discernment (Psychology Today)

What do you think? What determines the difference between judgment and discernment for you?  How does that kind of distinction play out in your daily living?

Love, ❤ ❤ ❤

Mira

 

Fragile: vulnerable, morally-weak deplorables

Fragile

redcedars

Red Cedar Trees: fragile, vulnerable

Red Cedars once flourished on the banks of the Cedar River, perfectly adapted to their environment. Sturdy, naturally water-repellent trunks fell prey to 19th-century homesteaders in desperate need of fuel and protection. Conservationists’ targeted efforts now cultivate and protect the remaining, the fragile, the few.

Fragile, vulnerable, deplorable, hungry, crafty, consumers

Continue reading “Fragile: vulnerable, morally-weak deplorables”

Your Turn: Bullied? Manipulated? Hurting? Healing? Please share.

Zing!

Please, please…zing us!

FindingBreathless has been paddling as fast the little duck feet could muster, heading toward a lily pad. (Truthfully, that lily pad has been covering up a soapbox podium, but you knew that, right?) Today, we’re climbing onto a lily pad and turning off our own microphones.  Today is your turn to be heard. Continue reading “Your Turn: Bullied? Manipulated? Hurting? Healing? Please share.”

Stop Bullying at Zero

wikibully

My risk. Your gain.

I am probably taking a big risk with this post, but I am just going to say it. Parents have the power to eliminate bullying. Furthermore, it must be accomplished before children even set foot in a school.

Studies dance around the issue, because empirical scientific methods are geared for testing a limited sample and a single variable at a time. It will always be a limited sample, even if it is a meta-analysis. Researchers must always leave the door open for further studies to be conducted. That is the scientific method, and science will continue to gather evidence interminably.

Not everyone is going to agree, but, on this, I’m taking a stand.

Continue reading “Stop Bullying at Zero”

Assertiveness: Parents + 2

pajamas

Armor of assertiveness

Very few of us escape our young childhood years without at least a few effects of misguided parenting here and there. And even if we had the greatest parents who made sure we felt love and supplied everything we needed, there may have been another whole realm of skills–assertiveness–that was overlooked. If you find yourself wishing that your assertiveness skills were a little beefier, this is for you. Lack of assertiveness is a chief cause of the bully/bullied syndrome. (If we are the products of parents who were quite off track–somewhere on the spectrum between the abusers and helicopters–we will also benefit by doing some work over in the Starfish Mission area. We need to heal our damaged souls to avoid passing on the hurt.) Continue reading “Assertiveness: Parents + 2”