Loving patiently while they learn…

baretrees
Waiting patiently in silence for the returning spring of life-giving love…

Judging vs. discerning; rejecting the person vs. employing wisdom for daily-living

There seems to be a common theme here in the blog-o-sphere, around which humanity has obstacles of communication for developing a unifying understanding. And yet, perhaps we are growing closer.

I found article on the website TheOverwhelmedBrain.com that beautifully illustrates how a form of judgment can destroy relationships. (Click or tap the link above for access to the article. The website itself is linked here, inside the “Daily Balance” of my Starfish Mission.)

A teacher with whom I once worked seemed to have struck this beautiful balance. She often remarked that her mother, also a teacher, had repeatedly instructed her to “remember to always be kind”. Continue reading “Loving patiently while they learn…”

Fragile: vulnerable, morally-weak deplorables

Fragile

redcedars

Red Cedar Trees: fragile, vulnerable

Red Cedars once flourished on the banks of the Cedar River, perfectly adapted to their environment. Sturdy, naturally water-repellent trunks fell prey to 19th-century homesteaders in desperate need of fuel and protection. Conservationists’ targeted efforts now cultivate and protect the remaining, the fragile, the few.

Fragile, vulnerable, deplorable, hungry, crafty, consumers

Continue reading “Fragile: vulnerable, morally-weak deplorables”

Your Turn: Bullied? Manipulated? Hurting? Healing? Please share.

Zing!

Please, please…zing us!

FindingBreathless has been paddling as fast the little duck feet could muster, heading toward a lily pad. (Truthfully, that lily pad has been covering up a soapbox podium, but you knew that, right?) Today, we’re climbing onto a lily pad and turning off our own microphones.  Today is your turn to be heard. Continue reading “Your Turn: Bullied? Manipulated? Hurting? Healing? Please share.”

I can see clearly now…

Vice

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Matthew 13: 11-33

Pain. Somehow, it seems to take on a life of its own. What you thought was hurting there, is really hurting here. I am beginning to understand. Coming here–into this world filled with pain–has sometimes felt to me as though I’ve had amnesia. Like I should have known this before. Didn’t I? How did I forget? Relearning. All of the tedium. Ugh.

Physical pain is one thing. Emotional pain is quite another. A personal who can soothe emotional pain has a gift: the gift of true love. Love is not always easy to find. Love is borne on the backs of habits– born of pain, gathers droplets through compassion, spreads across calm waters where there is no judgement, and rises from the mist into the sunshine. Love does not hold vice on its calm surface. Vice sinks quickly and disappears into the depths. Only through pond inversion will vice get another chance to become love.

Occasionally, when meeting someone for the first time, I feel as though I’ve known them my entire life. I felt like that when I met my husband. It still feels like that, most days.  Do you know this feeling?  I have been having more of those moments recently. It’s not such a coincidence, really. Retirement provides opportunity.

Several days ago I wrote a post about feeling lucky to have been unlucky. I have also been doing an online book study with friends. We have been reading the book Self-Esteem by McKay and Fanning. Throughout the book so far (it takes some time to work through that thing!), there had been no reference to geography. But then–it was there–the name of a town. MY town. The town where we have spent the greatest share of our lives. Frantically, I began searching. Was there a connection? Yes, but not what I expected.

Dr. Matthew McKay, I discovered, has written a book that he never expected to write. He is a man of science and committed to adhering to sound research practices. McKay experienced the kind of pain a parent fears the most: his son, aged 23–full of promise and excited about his future, was murdered. McKay began a highly unusual quest to try to connect with his son on the other side. He found a way. What he learned–what I read last night in his book Seeking Jordan–consumed my dreams. This morning the mist cleared, and my life seems sane again. Mostly.

You would need to read the book–and even then you would need to be in a certain place in your life’s journey to allow it in. We are just as we suspected. We are in this together. We are all connected. Pain provides us opportunity to link arms (as one reader recently said to me–so succinctly) and to learn collectively. Through our pain, we learn love–better.

I am here with you to breathe through our pain, to connect, and to learn love better.

Love,

Mira

*I am not a licensed therapist and will never claim to be such. I have retired after working 20 years as full-time, elementary-classroom teacher. I’ve taught it all: reading, math, science, and the social studies. (That does NOT mean that I have learned it all!) What I have to offer (and what I have yet to fully understand. 😉  ) is a lifetime of experiences and a spaghetti-brain full of randomly-connected information. 🙂 Most importantly, I care.

 

 

 

There’s a Full Moon Tonight!

via Daily Prompt: Moon

I could use a little (okay, maybe a LOT) of help from some of you bloggers who have incredible photography skills. Until that happens, all I can offer you is my message. You see, as a former (20 years!) classroom teacher, full moons retain their residual uh oh effect on me. When kiddos were at their worst, we had to be at our best. That is when we, figuratively speaking, felt like getting out our stop signs and fire hoses. Yes, there are times when teachers and parents inadvertently jump over their little moons, and maybe even block their moons–robbing them of the lights they were so naturally shining. If so, those teachers and parents just didn’t happen to know that there was a better way.

With new, better-informed, and improved classroom management training, schools are making a turn in the right direction.  Unfortunately, schools are still at a loss to help children or parents before they set foot in a classroom. The first five years make all the difference in the world.

When we hear about politically oppressive regimes that use torture, imprisonment, and solitary confinement, we think brainwashing, PTSD, cruel and inhumane treatment. We don’t think of it as anything close to something like punishing children, ignoring them, teasing them, or shouting at them in anger. And yet, for those tiny little people at the hands of giant adults, it can feel exactly the same. The fear factor is no different. The result empties them of their very selves. Their little lights can just go dark. I know. It happened to me. I also now know that I have plenty of company. Our world struggles every day with issues of sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness, anger, and depression.

moon

Love is the simple solution. Understanding and knowing how to communicate love is…you know…complicated.   Continue reading “There’s a Full Moon Tonight!”